Well it's been 4 years so it was bound to happen...

Last night at around 3am (during a hell of a thunderstorm) some people sliced the front of our brand new 12' Snowglobe, drug it out of the yard (breaking 3 North Poles) and down the street, and strung it into a neighbors tree (breaking part of the tree). What a mess! We thought at first that it was the storm but when we saw the slice and realized that this thing is a monster and very heavy, and nothing else had come down, we knew it was vandals.

We made a police report, and then got to work fixing the slices, because I'll be damned if some punk kids are going to win. Three neighbors were out to help, there's been uproar on Facebook among our friends (Rachel posted it immediately), and many people coming by expressed their anger/disappointment. They also destroyed the motor but your friend Ryan is pretty resourceful- I took the leaf blower motor and cranked it up... worked like a champ! Sounds like a 747 in the yard but my "Give A Damn" meter is pretty pegged so people will just have to deal with the noise until New Years.
 

The photo below shows just how far they drug it down the street:

Check out "The Scar" across the front:

When last we left our hero (me) and after hearing about his dilemma (#$!@ vandals!) the hero had repaired his wayward inflatable and all was right with the world.

Unfortunately, due to the high rains last night the ground was pretty saturated... and the stakes pulled up with G-damn gale force winds that were howling through Cypress like a Wizard of Oz level twister!

So what happened? The same 12 footer pulled out of the ground, rolled across a yard full of (delicate) Lawn Lights- breaking both strings in the process- and crash at top speed into the (already shaken due to last nights winds) gazebo and end arch, breaking the top of the arch (breaking, not knocking it loose... BREAKING) and knocking 21 of the 28 connections loose.

So my neighbor and I scrambled to get the gazebo back up. It works. We glue the top of the arch back up. That works too.  For about 2 minutes. At which point the howling, ridiculous, makes-me-feel like I live in Kansas wind picks back up.  And the whole gazebo shifts to about a 55 degree angle right in front of me...

So what did I do? Well first I took the pieces to the trash, bundled the lights, and tossed the whole mess in the garage. I took down ALL of the inflatables to keep them from getting killed in the "I can't believe that we don't live in the Alps with all of the G-damn wind". I am actually shedding tears at this point, and I'm not afraid to admit it. So much work for 12 months and then this. So I take off to the airport to get Kierstin.

When I get back I rerun some extra red lights where the gazebo used to stand- to keep kids from running into the yard, because so help me God I'm going to kill someone AND their parents if that happens tonight. Then I get 1 of the 3 sets of Lawn lights on the right side working (left side still works) and test it all- everything comes on. I enable the show and eat dinner.

After dinner I walk outside to see how things look. A lady approaches with her dog (who is snarling and snapping at me for some reason). She points to the corner where my precious 12 footer used to stand. "That thing didn't look like it was snowing. I'm glad you took it down" to which I respond in a very non-Christmasy way about where she can stuff the snowglob and she quickly shuffles along with her snarling rabid dog.

A nice young man approaches and tells me that he wants to do an animated display. I tell him that's great, just know that it's a lot of work. He asks a few questions and I tell him about my issues today to which he scoffs "Well anything I put up would stay up! I know how to do things right." As I'm staring at him, trying not to hit him with the 2 foot rebar that I picked up from the yard, he asks me again where he can get more animated information. I tell him www.texaschristmaslights.com (which my Lone Star Holidays friends will understand.  For those who are not familiar- Texas Christmas Lights is a dead organization with about three people left.  It's pretty much a useless shell and the new guy with the big mouth at my display won't learn a thing!).

Then a little girl approaches and says "Where is Santa tonight?" I explain that Santa has had a long day and needs to rest up for the night's deliveries. I also remind her it's in the 20's for the "feels like" temperature, and even Santa gets cold sometimes. I hand her a candy cane and wish her a Merry Christmas. And what does she do? She throws the candy cane down, says "I didn't want a stupid candy cane! I wanted to see Santa!" and stomps away. As she's getting back in her parents car, I yell out "That's why you're getting nothing you little punk!".

Christmas sucks.

Disclaimer: I didn't really yell at the kid, and in fact she smiled and said "Merry Christmas" back. I'm really contemplating a year off, but I think I'll make that decision in March or so. Merry Christmas everyone!

Twas the night before Christmas, in the Lone Star state
Our display had been running, with no issues to date;

Now some families hang lights, a time honored tradition,
But decorating the most, had become Daddy’s mission;

The gazebo was spinning, and covered in lights,
On the roof lay the pyramid, which glowed through the night;

Our controllers were hidden, behind LSH signs,
With one tucked by the bushes, hidden behind;

The arches were chasing, the strobes popping bright,
The lights on the brick, were all sequenced just right;

Daddy played Santa, in the heat and the chillers,
He sat in a sleigh, built by his friend Willard;

Frosty, the Mooses, and a bright carousel,
Were dwarfed by a snowglobe, the king of them all;

But on Christmas eve morning, a problem was found,
The snowglobe was slashed, and then pulled to the ground;

Those a--holes they drug it, right down the whole street,
Then they tossed it and tied it, and it wasn’t a treat;

But we pulled the thing home, and we patched it with tape,
Then we blew him back up, and he looked really great;

A few minutes later, ‘cause the ground was so wet,
That globe started rolling, trouble wasn’t done yet;

It crushed all the Lawn Lights, as it rolled ‘cross the yard,
It hit part of an arch, then the gazebo quite hard;

We took blow ups down, we thought that we should,
And we fixed the gazebo, and assumed we were good;

But a few minutes later, when the wind started blowing,
That gazebo crashed down, and the tension was growing;

Daddy said some bad words, but went straight to his work,
When he gets in that mood, he can act like a jerk;

The show must go on, even though it was trying,
Daddy said some bad words, and we think he was crying;

He took it all down, and he fixed what he could,
Because soon cars would drive by, as we all knew they would;

The lights still shined brightly, and people came by,
We gave out candy canes, to each girl and each guy;

When the show neared its ending, and the music was stopped,
We thought of our day, into bed we all dropped;

Momma laid her head down, right next to the Dad,
To make him feel better, said "it’s not all that bad;

The best thing of all, is that Kierstin came home,
The girls are all sleeping, and now we’re all alone";

He shrugged when she said it, his smile quite sad,
"It wasn’t the vandals, or that the winds made me mad";

"Christmas eve should be special, for all of our guests,
And they all would be happy, if not for my mess";

"But these things can happen", Mom said to the Dad,
"And your work makes them smile, and makes them feel glad";

"When the kids hand out candy, or on Fridays popcorn,
Those cars line up to see it, and not one is bored";

"They smile and they listen, and they laugh just a bit,
So don’t sit here and sulk, or you might as well quit!";

And with that she turned over, on her side of the bed,
Daddy lay there just thinking, ‘bout what she has said;

Then he leaned in and kissed her, but said nothing else,
She was still sort of mad, for him pitying himself;

But she did hear him say, as he turned out the light,
"Next year will be better, and I’ll get it all right!"